The Fireworks Incident

So today on this fine Saturday evening, my magician friends and I had been enjoying a quiet, subtle evening at my home. It involved Dr. Pepper, Mario Kart Wii, and a horrible game of Monopoly. As we progressed throughout the evening, my fine educated buddio got the swell idea to begin the bouncing of a tennis ball upon a prized picture of a Lambourghini Countach upon my basement corner. Sadly, what followed was the emotionally charged smashing of my favorite, ancient picture. It was a travesty, and I was mighty upset. After we cooled down some thirty seconds later, i said "Hey mister, you clean this mess up good and respectable-like right this instant!!". He had no other answer but "OK" and "this was a terribly unfortunate event, and I hold a dear sorrow". As he gathered the glass in a pile, and awayed with the mess, my colleagues and I came up with a brilliant idea in itself. We decided to take the giant remnants of the shattered glass frame to the parking lot 'cross the street from my house and literally break the mess out of them. As we proceeded, i grabbed my shoes from upstairs, and noticed a roman candle that had somehow survived for several months after The Fourth. I thought it could make for an interesting show, so I brought it along. I grabbed matches from my mother's secret stash to enflame the fuse. As my friend smashed his giant piece across the door of the institution across the parking lot, I threw mine angrily to the ground. It wasn't nearly as cool as you would think, except my friend had to duck from flying ninja-star-like glass objects after the forcible smashing. I then said "HERE WE GO MAGICIAN COLLEAGUES!!!", and lit the heck out of that fuse. It started a dud, so I tossed it away. The force of the toss sparked the fuse to continue, and it unleashed a force unbeknownst to mankind, with shrieking noises and sparks flying everywhere. My magical ally proceeded to pick up the candle during its blasts, and shot it around the way. It accidentally hit my fine fellow, in fact the exact one who broke the picture! It wasn't at all fatal, or even painful. It simply bounced off. Sweet revenge for the death of a picture. What proceeded was us running back to mon maison, grabbing all the fireworks we could find in my room, and headed back to the lot 'cross the way. We started by shooting of mini-shells, which my friends thought to be much less powerful than meets the eye. We shot a door, expecting a huge blast, but it ricocheted off of the glass establishment, causing quite a shock and fright. We next shot one into the tree, hoping to cause a combustion of flame in the branches. It proved all but successful, and we saw the full force of the fireworks we had not at all known the true power of. We were down to our last shell, and we wanted to go out in a bang. There is an island in the parking lot of some raggedy thistles and bushes, and we wanted to start it on fire with the help of our fireworks. We set up the perfect way to set the brush afire. As it was finally situated, we all recognized the beauty of our destructive arson. We lit the fuse, it snapped, our feet hit the ground with cunning, running our asses off as if to not be hit with a fiery ball of fire. It BLEW! We saw it smolder, and flames lit! That is, until they quietly died in a triumphant battle with the wind. We decided to even the score with the previous hitting in the back with a fiery fireball. As it began, it suddenly came to a halt. It was a real dud, which didn't at all spark when thrown. We had one more firework, a single, 10 shot roman candle. We decided to use it on the lighting of the brush. As i lit the fuse, it worked to perfection, sparking dozens of tiny ash particles all over the place. As it began to shoot, we see a car drive by. At first, we think nothing of it, that is, until we see its blinker. The glass-breaker yelled "ROBERTO!!!!! THE TURN SIGNAL IS ON!!!!". We BOLTED OUT OF THERE! It started going off in a blaze of profound glory, and we started to dash away. I was wearing my moccasin shoes, and as I started building momentum for running, my shoe fell off!!!! I had to hastily run back, while the car was in motion and right in front of both me and the blazing roman candle, grab my shoes, take them off as I couldn't run in them, and literally dip out of there as fast as I could. The fireworks were very illegal and we were shooting them at a school, so it would have gotten us in quite an amount of trouble. We ran and ran and ran, and I only met up with one other person as everyone else separated during the blow. We made haste to a playground safe-haven hiding spot, and tried contacting our magical friends with our cell phones. Every other persons phone aside from myself and my friend had died, which really scared us. We sat at a bench, in the dark, for ten minutes before attempting to go back. As we go back, we realize that our friend dropped his wallet during the first couple firings, and it could still be there!!!! We were too frazzled to check it out right away, so we returned to my humble abode across the street for a few minutes and gathered ourselves. After mercilessly stalking the area for the silver Cadillac that had haunted us so, we decide to go out on an endeavor for the wallet with ourselves and the other magician we had found had made it back to the abode. We walked across the street, only to find the wallet was nowhere to be found and hastily made our way home. The two who had separated from us three eventually were home, as they saw us running back from searching for the wallet and misinterpreted it as something much more. It might've been the most thrilling thing to ever happen to me, even if the car was just someone who would've told us to knock it off, or just didn't at all care. Either way, it made for an incredibly paranoid, thrilling, and downright fun night. It was quiet an experience. Sorry about the length of this unreasonably long blog, but I thought it was worth mentioning. So if your ever around my humble abode with an idea afoot, remember, don't play with fire.

...works.

The Art of Magic with Roberto

Hello all. As a certain rival magician of literature will never find out, I am ROBERTO THE MAGICIAN OF SCIENCE!!!! While i actually am in biology, it doesnt mean i cant razzle-n-dazzle my skills in a lower level. There is quite a lot of pressure for a magician such as myself to become recognized and hone my skills to the next level, but hopefully with the helpful guidance of all you readers, i will be able to complete my mission. Before we begin, i would like to add that i am tripping off of my ballsack, and would never do this otherwise.
The concept of being such a gentleman and scholar scares the ones who are not man enough to believe in the fact that there is such a thing as being a magician in science. As all of you who have watched the 2006 film "The Prestige", my prestige is the key parts of my every day life. I cant leave home without it.
As i was concocting a magic concoction in my magic science lab, i realized the subtlety behind the fact that this is as boisterous as a cannon in a flock of seagulls. i am not at all a subtle person, and in fact can be very rude and boisterous myself! My most-known trick would be the vanishing act, which would be when you show up to read this blog or maybe just to acknowledge my page, that i vanish into thin air! unfortunately you will never be able to see my vanishing act, which is quite unfortunate indeed.
Well this is my first blog, and it is very, very stupid. It might be the dumbest thing ive ever written, but as time progresses, so does the watch-maker. I believe i will hit the blog-reading spots of your brains with FULL FORCE AND CUNNING! Over the internet, that is.
-Keep Readin, Yallz!